Loving An Overthinker…
Loving an over-thinker means you are loving someone whose mind makes them question everything. You are loving someone whose mind makes them second guess everything. You are loving someone who is full of doubts. You are loving someone whose mind plays tricks on them. You are loving someone who is consumed with “what if’s.” You are loving someone who you will have to love unconditionally.
Loving an over-thinker is not always easy. But it is just as hard on your partner who suffers from the curse. If you are someone like me, you wish your mind had a shut-off button. Your mind works overtime. You over analyze everything and it drives you crazy. It consumes you. You wish you could stop over-processing everything but you can’t.
That bad break up that you once went through haunts you. You wish you could get it out of your head but something always reminds you. It interferes with your new relationship because you are fearful the same things will reoccur.
You build this wall and have a hard time letting anyone in. Your bad experiences in life make you think that everyone is out to get you. But in reality, it is just your mind tricking you.
Your overthinking makes you fearful of “what if.” It makes you fearful of what could happen. Your overthinking pushes away the good opportunities pushes away the ones that love you and holds you back. You wish you could explain how you felt to people but they would never understand.
What Over-Thinkers Want You To Know
They love you even when it does not seem like it
No matter how much hurt they have gone through they still continue to love. It’s just the more they have been hurt the harder it becomes for them to show their feelings. They become scared that they will get hurt again. Such individuals build a wall and you just have to have patience. Your true motives and intentions will be tested. Once the individual feels safe they will begin to slowly let you in. When they let you in, it does not mean that you are in the safe zone. If a bad fight happens they will immediately put their wall back up as a defense mechanism. This is where reassurance and unconditional love comes into play.
They will analyze everything you do
You had a great conversation with your significant other last night and fell asleep in their arms. Everything felt perfect. But in the morning when you went to work you forgot to give a kiss goodbye. You get a text message from your partner questioning why you did not give them a kiss goodbye? Is everything okay? Are you mad? What did they do wrong? You think to yourself we had a good night. I simply forgot to give him/her a kiss goodbye and they are totally overreacting. But the truth is, that is how the mind of an over-thinker works. They over analyzed the fact that you did not give them a kiss and they thought it was because something was wrong. Make sure your actions do not make them question you.
What you do is good enough
Dating an overthinker is difficult. It can be exhausting at times. It can make you feel defeated. There are going to be many times when you feel like you try so hard but nothing you ever do is good enough. If you truly love your significant other just hang in there. Your efforts do not go unnoticed. The overthinking mind just plays tricks on them. But at the end of the day, they know and appreciate how hard you try. Your efforts will pay off immensely eventually.
Patience is important
Being patient with your partner is important. Do not rush them into doing something that they are not comfortable with. It will cause them to become more anxious and doubtful. It is not good for them to go into an uncomfortable situation with bad thoughts because they will immediately grow resentment and not accept whatever it is that you are trying to get them to do. With time and patience, they will come around.
Details are important
An overthinker needs details. If you are vague you give their mind the opportunity to fill in the blanks and it will not always work in your favor. Their mind is already playing tricks on them, they do not need you to as well.
Here is how to love an over-thinker
Love them unconditionally
Continuously reassure them of your love and feelings
Be confident in your relationship
Give them security. Let them know you are here to stay and you are not going anywhere.
Clear communication is extremely important. Do not give them the opportunity to question because this is when their mind will begin to trick them into thinking negative thoughts.
Walk your talk. Actions speak louder than words. You may say all of the right things but if your actions show otherwise, your words will not be trusted
Choose your words wisely
Be patient with them
Put yourself in their shoes and try to be understanding